There is no sight more common than a woman putting on her makeup in a car. I have seen women putting on their makeup in cars stopped at traffic lights. I have seen women putting on their makeup in cars speeding down the highway. I have seen women putting on their makeup in cars inside parking garages. In fact, almost every time my wife and I ride together, the first thing she does is pull down the mirror and check the status of whatever makeup she is wearing that day. I’ve seen so many different types of women put on their makeup in so many different types of cars in so many different types of places for so long, that I am surprised if I don’t see a woman do it. Seeing a woman putting on their makeup in a car is not surprising.

But a few days ago I saw something that surprised me. I arrived at the gym for my bi-weekly yoga class and pulled into the parking garage. It was extremely crowded that day. Instead of securing my usual spot, I had to drive up another two levels. Finally, I found a space quite a ways from the stairs leading to the gyms’ entrance. I grabbed my bag, exited the car and moved swiftly to ensure that I arrived to class on time. Unfortunately, I was late to class. I was late because I saw something that I wasn’t expecting to see. There was a woman parked right near the stairs and she was putting on her makeup in a car. That didn’t surprise me. What surprised me was that when she got finished putting on her makeup, she got out of the car and headed toward the gym. “Wait a minute,” I thought to myself. “Who puts makeup on to go exercise?” I was momentarily perturbed.

But my perturbation soon gave way to laughter when I realized that my initial reaction was founded on erroneous assumption. I assumed that the woman who I saw putting on her makeup was going to the gym to exercise. At that moment I was reminded that not everyone goes to the gym to exercise. She was going to the gym “to be chose.” To be chose is ebonics for positioning oneself to be selected by a desirable mate—and the gym is one of the best places to find or be found by one. A friend of mine used to say that college is a great place to find a spouse because the admissions committee has already done some of the screening for you. In the same way, if you are looking for a mate who is fit or at least athletically inclined, the gym provides a pool of candidates who fit that criteria. Foolish, silly, and naive me! Everyone who joins or attends a gym is not interested in working out. They might be interested in being worked on lol.

Everyone does not do things for the same reasons that you do. The motives that actuate people performing the same duties or engaged in the same activities can be as different as night is from day. I once read a story about three men who were working on a building. When the first man was asked what he was doing, he replied “I am trying to feed my family.” When the second man was asked what he was doing, he replied, “ I am trying to pay my bills.” When the third man was asked what he was doing, he replied “I am building a cathedral.” The fact that each man had a different motive doesn’t necessary imply that one man’s motive was better than the others. It is just a reminder that we all have different motives. Some of our motives are pure. Some of our motives are not so pure. And some of our motives are mixed—they are an amalgamation of the pure and the not so pure.

There is a marvelous illustration of this truth in Acts 24:24-27. The Apostle Paul had been falsely accused and was being persecuted because of his Christian faith. He was hauled before an ancient magistrate named Felix, whose primary responsibility was to settle the case in a fair and impartial manner. The sacred writer escorts us to the scene:

A few days later Felix and his wife, Drusilla, who was Jewish, sent for Paul and listened to him talk about a life of believing in Jesus Christ. As Paul continued to insist on right relations with God and his people, about a life of moral discipline and the coming Judgment, Felix felt things getting a little too close for comfort and dismissed him. “That’s enough for today. I’ll call you back when it’s convenient.” At the same time he was secretly hoping that Paul would offer him a substantial bribe. These conversations were repeated frequently. After two years of this, Felix was replaced by Porcius Festus. Still playing up to the Jews and ignoring justice, Felix left Paul in prison.

To a casual observer, it would have been easy to assume that Felix was interested in truth, justice and the Christian lifestyle because he talked with Paul so frequently. For two years, they discoursed. For two years, they debated. For two years they disputed. But for two years, Felix was disappointed. Why? Because according to the text, what Felix really wanted was a bribe. He may have been superficially interested in the more noble aims of the Apostle Paul. But Felix wasn’t talking to Paul the same reason that Paul was talking to Felix. Paul’s motives were pure. Felix’s motives were not so pure. Paul was hoping that Felix would be baptized. But Felix was hoping that Paul would give him a bribe.

All of this brings me to today’s question: why do you do what you do? In his masterful book, Start With Why, Simon Sinek argues that people “buy your why.” That is to say that lasting success is not based or built on what you do or how you do it. It is built or based on why you do it. That means that if you are not getting the results you desire, it could be that your “why” is flawed.

After all, you shouldn’t complain that you’ve been going to the gym and haven’t lost any weight if you really weren’t going to exercise in the first place.

Mixed Motives