Permission Slips

My oldest brother Jonathan has been an elementary school teacher and coach for the past 33 years. I once had the privilege of watching him prepare for and then teach a class. Watching him prepare for and teach a class was itself a masterclass. I never knew someone could derive so much joy from creating lesson plans, cleaning and rearranging desks. and thinking through how best to challenge prepubescent students who are tethered to their phones.

This past Thanksgiving, I asked my brother how he has been able to teach for so long and still remain effective, energetic, and effervescent. His answer was hilarious, sad and tragic. Jonathan said that the key to him enduring so long as a teacher has been in staying away from other teachers lol. He said that most of them are so frustrated, uncommitted and negative that assiduously avoiding them and staying as close as possible to the kids has been the key to his success.

His comment was a reminder to me that success in any endeavor is as much a function of what you don’t do as it is a function of what you do. Perhaps more of Jonathan’s colleagues should write themselves a permission slip. In fact, I want you to give yourself a Christmas present this year. Give yourself permission to stop doing what you don’t want to do.  We often fail to realize that we don’t have to do anything that we do. We choose to do it.  

During my school days, you couldn’t leave the classroom, go to the bathroom, or walk the halls without a signed permission slip from an authorized school official. The slip gave you access, autonomy, and perhaps most importantly, assurance. As long as you had a permission slip, no one could question or penalize you. I’m not even sure that “permission slips” are still used anymore. But even though they may not be used, the cluster of ideas animating them will never grow obsolete. The idea behind “permission slips” is that we need someone else’s approval to move. The idea behind “permission slips” is that we need someone else’s approval to choose. The idea behind “permission slips” is that we need someone else’s approval to decide. And so most of us float through life, waiting to get approval from some imaginary authority figure before we decide to live the life we want.

In Samuel Beckett’s play, Waiting For Godot, Vladamir and Estragen spend the entire play by a tree waiting for a mysterious figure named Godot to arrive. They pass the time in meaningless, repetitive conversation, but are assured by a young man at the end of each act of the play that Godot is coming tomorrow. However, Godot never arrives. The point of the play is that as long as we wait for it, tomorrow never arrives. Far too many of us are just like Vladmir and Estragen: living our lives on pause, waiting for some tomorrow to come, while we rack up regrets, tally up frustrations and stack up years.

Admirable Grace Hopper once said that “its better to ask for forgiveness than permission.”  Assume that the light is green, and go!  Give yourself permission to enjoy your life.  Give yourself permission to be confused.  Give yourself permission to be unavailable.  Give yourself permission to grieve.  Give yourself permission to fail.  Give yourself permission to oversleep. Give yourself permission to miss a workout.  Give yourself permission to disappoint unrealistic expectations.  Give yourself permission to not give such expensive gifts for Christmas.  Give yourself permission to not answer your phone, return emails, or post to social media.  And perhaps some of you need to give yourself permission to leave a job you can’t stand, move from  a city that you don’t like, or stop spending time with people that you really don’t enjoy.

For the rest of this year, may these words from the masterpiece of the Apostle Paul run rampant through the alleyways of your mind:

So don’t you see that we don’t owe this old do-it-yourself life one red cent. There’s nothing in it for us, nothing at all. The best thing to do is give it a decent burial and get on with your new life. God’s Spirit beckons. There are things to do and places to go!

This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It’s adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike “What’s next, Papa?”

Romans 8:12-17

****This is the last blog of 2024, The blog will resume on January 17, 2025. Special thanks to Karen Gauff, Anita Queen, and Paul Harris for their editorial assistance.