The Pour Principle

According to Ronnie Oldham, excellence “is the result of caring more than others think is wise, risking more than others think is safe, dreaming more than others think is practical, and expecting more than others think is possible.” Based on that definition, there is not a better representation of excellence than the award-winning, critically acclaimed show “The Bear”. It provides an intimate look at a gifted but tortured chef’s effort to transform his family’s sandwich shop into a Michelin starred restaurant (A Michelin star is the highest culinary distinction). The show offers a compelling look at the pursuit, the process and the price of excellence. Later this month, the Bear will debut its fifth and final season. It is one of my favorite shows.

One of my favorite scenes in the show occurred in episode three of season three. In the scene, Carmen (the main character) has finally opened the fine dining establishment that he always dreamed of. He has inspired the employees of the restaurant (many of whom are his relatives) to perform at the highest level. The restaurants’s popularity grows so quickly that soon everyone is overwhelmed and must begin performing multiple tasks. One evening, Carmen is looking for “hands” which is restaurant lingo for servers. He has prepared a special broth and needs someone to serve it to the guests who have been waiting. His cousin Fak (who knows absolutely nothing about serving) volunteers for the task. Carmen hands him a tray with the broth and two bowls, and instructs him to pour the broth into the bowls in front of the guests. Fax agrees—and does exactly what he is told. He carries the tray from the kitchen to the table where the guests are sitting. He pours the broth in the bowls in front of the guests. And then he carries the tray back into the kitchen, smiling in as he walks. Fak believes that he has done a great job! When he arrives back in the kitchen, Carmen curses him out. Fak didn’t realize that he was supposed to pour the broth in the bowls and then give the bowls to the guests. LOL.

I love that scene because it illustrates a problem that vexes so many organizations, sabotages so many dreams, and destroys so many relationships. The problem is the lack of specificity. Fak did exactly whaat Carmen told him to do. Carmen assumed that Fak would know the purpose of pouring the soup was to ultimately serve the soup to the guests. But Fak was not a server. Fak had never been trained. Fak was following instructions. In one sense, Fak did a great job. Ultimately, Fak was not at fault. Carmen was. He failed to be specific. Carmen got exactly what he asked for.

The “pour” principle is a phrase that I have coined as a reminder to be as specific as I can when asking questions, making statements, and providing instructions. We assume entirely too much in our interactions with people, and those assumptions lead to misunderstanding and conflict. We are far too general in our descriptions, our instructions, and our requests. This is why the old folks use to say that “the Devil is in the details.” We often fail to achieve our objectives because we were insufficiently specific in the planning, preparation, and pursuit of them.

After a lifetime of waiting, a man named Caleb finally got the opportunity to ask for what he truly wanted. At 85, he approached his friend Joshua and made a bold request.  According to Numbers 14:6-12, this is what he asked:

I was forty years old when Moses the servant of God sent me from Kadesh Barnea to spy out the land. And I brought back an honest and accurate report. My companions who went with me discouraged the people, but I stuck to my guns, totally with God, my God. That was the day that Moses solemnly promised, ‘The land on which your feet have walked will be your inheritance, you and your children’s, forever. Yes, you have lived totally for God.’ Now look at me: God has kept me alive, as he promised. It is now forty-five years since God spoke this word to Moses, years in which Israel wandered in the wilderness. And here I am today, eighty-five years old! I’m as strong as I was the day Moses sent me out. I’m as strong as ever in battle, whether coming or going. So give me this hill country that God promised me. You yourself heard the report, that the Anakim were there with their great fortress cities. If God goes with me, I will drive them out, just as God said. Numbers 14:6-12. MSG

Caleb knew exactly what he wanted. And it may not be accidental the Bible points out his age. Perhaps it takes some time to truly figure out what you want. When making his request, Caleb did not stutter, hesitate or apologize. He did not say I want “a” mountain. He said I want “this” mountain. Yep—this one right here. LOL.

All of this brings me to a question: how specific are you?