When An Insult Is A Compliment
During a recent conversation, someone called me “highfalutin.” When I first heard their allegation, I laughed. I didn’t laugh because I was embarrassed, nor because I felt angry or insecure. I laughed because “highfalutin” is a great word. I appreciate how sharply it pierces the air and how marches off of the tongue. After I laughed, then I was impressed. I was impressed because “highfalutin” is not the kind of word that you hear in everyday conversation. “Highfalutin” is the kind of word that you either picked up hanging around older people (especially from the South), or because you have been immersed in fine literature or great conversation. Then after being impressed, I was curious. I was curious because the way the person said it, it was quite clear that he did not intend it as compliment. But I resisted drawing any conclusions, because although I had a fairly good idea of what the word meant, I really wasn’t sure. So I decided to do what my mother taught me, and look it up it the dictionary.
Whenever I look up words in the dictionary, I go the Oxford English Dictionary, known in literary circles as the OED. The OED is considered the definitive guide to the English Language. Here is how it’s compliers describe it:
The Oxford English Dictionary (OED) is widely regarded as the accepted authority on the English language. It is an unsurpassed guide to the meaning, history, and usage of 500,000 words and phrases past and present, from across the English-speaking world.
The dictionary is twenty volumes, and is also available on a subscription basis. After the Bible, the OED is the one resource that I most frequently consult. When I looked up “highfaultin” in the OED, I made a delightful discovery. Here is the entry:
Origin uncertain; perhaps (i) < high adv. + a second element perhaps representing a variant pronunciation (with epenthetic vowel) of fluting adj. (perhaps with reference to the sound of affected speech, although see also note below)
The first possibility listed above is supported by the following slightly earlier example, in which high feluting apparently occurs as an alteration of high fluting with literal reference to the high sounds produced by a flute player; familiarity with the context in this song may have prompted wider use in the meaning ‘pretentious, affected’:
1836
I play upon de cymbal an I makes de handsome sound, I's a high feluting nigger dat dey calls Jim Brown.
One of the earliest , if not the earliest use of the word “highfaultin” was made by a slave in 1836, who said that he was called a “high-feltuting” nigger because of his skill on a musical instrument. What that means is that the slave in question was so skilled at playing his instrument that he surprised his Masters. Since slave owners denied the humanity of their slaves, it was surprising to them when they found one who had the intelligence, skill and ability to craft such deletable sounds. So far from being an insult, being called “high-falutin” is actually a compliment.
Now of course the gentlemen who called me ‘high-falutin” most certainly did not mean it that way. He meant it the way that it is usually employed, which means to be pretentious, affected, or bombastic in speech or action. But I gave him a pass. I have learned that most insults are backhanded compliments. Whenever someone challenges us, or pushes us past our comfort zone, it is easier for us to dismiss or diminish them instead of acknowledging the accuracy of their ideas or the superiority of their achievements. As one of my mentors famously said, anytime you say “they think they cute,” what you really mean is “you think that they are cute.” LOL.
When the Apostle Paul and his missionary companions arrived in the ancient city of Thessalonica, they were met with an insult, which was really a compliment. According to Acts 17:6, the Bible informs us that when a riot ensued upon their arrival in the city, their enemies exclaimed “These who have turned the world upside down have come here too.” Wherever Paul went his enemies accused him of turning the world upside down. But what he was really doing was turning the world right-side up! As the philosopher Frederick Nietzsche once brilliantly observed, authentic Christian faith always results in a transvaluation of values. Faith in Jesus Christ results in a fundamental re-evaluation and restructuring of one’s world, a re-evaluation and restructuring so profound that it feels like one’s world is being turned upside down. This what the old saints meant when they said “I looked at my hands and they looked new, and I looked at my feet and they did too.”
Most insults are back-handed compliments. When people said “you are so extra,” what they often mean is you do more than is required, and it challenges their complacency. When people that “you are showing off,” what they often mean is you are giving your best and it challenges their laziness. And when people call you “high-falutin” what they are often doing is actually complimenting how well you do what you do, which challenges their mediocrity.