Who's In Your Inner Circle?
In his book The 21 Irrefutable Laws Leadership, John Maxwell argues that the people closest to a leader determines their potential. He calls this the Law Of The Inner Circle. Maxwell observes that “we tend to surround ourselves with either people we like or people with whom we feel comfortable.” But in order to maximize our impact, we must be more intentional in who we select to spend our time with. I would contend that this law applies not only to success in leadership, but also to success in life.
This principle is powerfully exemplified in the ministry of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Although his mission was eternal in origin and divine in execution, he could not accomplish it without human assistance. That point alone is worth remembering. If Jesus was the son of God, and still required help to fulfill his mission, then you and I will need help as well. The idea that we are self made is an illusion. The current President of the United States once bragged that he was a self made billionaire. He went on to say that when he started out , his father gave him a “small loan” of one million dollars. Well, all of us will need some help even if all the kelp we need is a “small loan.”
Even Jesus needed help to fulfill his mission, so he chose twelve men. The names of those twelve men are listed in Matthew 10:2-4, Mark 3:14-19, and Luke 6:13-16. As Mark 3:14, puts it, those twelve men “were ordained to be with him.” For three years, those 12 men spent almost every day with Jesus. Those twelve men watched him perform miracles and listened to him teach. Those twelve men saw him disarm critics, convince skeptics, and change lives. And while Jesus taught large crowds and fed multitudes, he intentionally cultivated a deep bond with those twelve men. These twelve men are traditionally referred to as the twelve disciples.
But even within that group of twelve disciples, there were only three that Jesus allowed to accompany him at very three very crucial times in his ministry. When he received validation from God on the Mount of Transfiguration, when he raised a sick man’s daughter from the dead, and when he went to pray in the Garden of Gethsemane, only Peter, James and John were permitted to go with him. On each of those occasions, Jesus needed people who understood his calling, valued his mission, and who could benefit from exposure to those “peak” environments. Maxwell would call Peter, James and John Jesus’s inner circle. And all of us need one.
Here are a few questions I’d like for you to ponder: Who is in your inner circle? Why are they there? And what value do they bring?
Sahil Bloom has advised that one of the best ways to determine who should be in your inner circle is to list the three to five people that you spend the most time with and then ask yourself the following four questions about each of them:
Do they know things you need to know?
Do they push you to be better?
Do you feel energized or drained after your interactions with them?
Are they going where you want to go?
If the answer to any of those questions is “no,” it’s time to change the composition of your inner circle.
If the wrong people are in your inner circle, you will keep going around in circles.